Dylan Thomas Moore, or Professor Dylan Moore, PhD in Girthology, (Born October 19th, 1998) is a new-age Girthologist, and is currently the first-known Girthologist in the United States, though he is constantly searching for other civilizations that may share a similar philosophy within the galaxy. He is currently teaching fundamental Girthology courses at Admiral Assgirth Academy's Girthology branch in Flaccid County, VA. He has set the precedent for all girth-related quantities, measures, and regulations within the United States, and is responsible for bi-weekly Girth Analysis for the sake of tabulation in the widely-known Girth Census.


Dylan Moore was born in San Jose, CA on October 19th, 1998 (17 years old as of January 15th, 2016). He is currently attending a high school in Texas, and is an aspiring professional brass musician (clearly the most girth-worthy of instruments). He excels mainly in math courses, sex, and anything else that dares to intimidate his girthy intellect.

Philosophical Origins

Dylan had long since possessed an internal theory that paralleled Girthology from quite a young age, however, he hadn't assigned it a name until 2015. In a broad sense, after extended interpersonal analysis, he was able to perceive, in full capacity, one's parental, supervisory, or administrative authority. He began to sense this from individuals toward the end of his freshman year at high school, and has since evaluated his immediate superiors, parents, and teachers as such. However, this isn't to say he aims to scrutinize them; simply to analyze. Though he takes pride in being the first Girthologist, and therefore a precedent figure for all who seek to attain a similar magnitude of Girthic wisdom, he knows there is still much work to be done, and much to develop, likely including the infusion of Einsteinian Mathematics.

Early Life

Dylan Moore has always, from childhood, been surprisingly analytical of the prospects of his life. For the first 10 years of his life, he had lived in California, and, due to his sharp memory, is able to recall quite a bit of his experiences. Starting from the age of 5 up until he left, he had attended the St. Christopher Catholic Christian private school in San Jose. Beginning in roughly 1st grade, Dylan had begun taking a more contemplative stance to the whereabouts of life, and, though he hadn't nearly begun to ponder the roots of what is now Girthology, his intellectual maturity had always been much more developed than that of his peers. He had begun to evolve into somewhat of a silent mentor figure to his peers that were academically struggling, therefore granting him what is currently referred to as Didactic Girth, one of the many Girth Variations.